On My Own
by QueenOfThePlace
Summary: It retells the relationship of Erik and Charles through Erik's POV at crucial moments. Then, it'll go beyond the First Class movie... Cherik! Erik/Charles.
1. Chapter 1 Thoughtful

_**Author's Notes:**_ Hello! :D I can't belive my first fanfic on my new account (my previous one being : TamakiCat) is Cherik *Charles/Erik*! I'm so happy! :D And also, it's unusual because I write this from Erik's POV :O I always write third person singular, so first... xD It's rare :P! And it obviously had to be with Erik xD Ha ha! :D Enjoy!

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing but that fanfic, the idea for this fanfic, my representation of those marvelous characters and their awesome relationship ;) and my writing style :)!

Enjoy! I hope you'll like it!

Comment please :D Always makes me happy!

_**On My Own**_

_**Chapter 1. Thoughtful**_

I remember when you pulled me out of the water, Charles. But at that time, I was so lost I didn't even almost acknowledge your presence. I only wanted to crush that asshole of a dirt! But don't take me wrong, I still want to do so, but let's just say I'm enjoying my time with you, recruiting all these mutants. At first, I didn't realize you were projecting your voice inside my mind, trying to help me... And when you told me you knew all about me and that you had your own powers while I had mine, I didn't believe you... How could I? I mean, I had been the only mutant for the Nazi freakshow, the only one who had been tortured; a lab rat and sadly and cunnivingly tricked... But as soon as you told me 'You're not alone!', I knew. It hit me as hard as if you'd have slapped me. I truly wasn't alone. I had never been. What a shock... And I now believe you.

I turn to you, then sit down on my designed chair. You look up to me, thoughtful, then move your King. I smirk and look down at the chessgame we're playing.

'How are you feeling, Erik?' he asks me.

'Well, and to say I thought you could read minds...' I sneer, moving my Knight.

'Erik!' he chids me, insulted. 'You KNOW I never use it without a real emergency! And even then, I hate popping into someone's own personal space...'

'Ha ha! Yeah, I know!' I laugh, though I become really serious the next moment. 'I feel angry, resentful and disgusted, as usual. But not at you... You know me.'

I move my Knight again and I can tell I'm feeling Charles' exasperation.

'Erik... Is there any way I can help you? I mean it... I would love to -'

'Ah, I know you'd love to help me, Charles! But no, there's nothing you can do... Checkmate!'

Charles quickly stares at the game, then expresses his displeasure of his deafeat by a 'Gnahh!' well placed. I smiled brightly and stand up. I grab my coat on the coat stand and put it on.

'What are you doing?' he asks with a concerned voice.

I know he's afraid of me leaving; I can always feel it whenever I'm close to him. Even when I'm away and I think of him and me... But I won't do it. At least not now...

'There are other mutants to find, or am I mistaken, Charles?' I say with my hand on the doorknob and a grin on my face.

He smiles back, stands up to go and get his coat, which he obviously puts on.

'Let's go!' I exclaim, turning the doorknob and opening the door.

And we both left for another adventure...


	2. Chapter 2 An Angelic Time

_**Author's Notes:**_ Hiya ! :D I'm telling ya.. Rewriting a chapter SUCKS! I had to do that with this one -.-... Since I needed the exact quotes from the movie xDD Damn! But I like it :D I mean...Erik begins to think a bit more... ;) Rrrrr. You get the point xD

_**Disclaimer:**_ Read first disclaimer :D Thanks!

Hope you enjoy :D

And comment please! Always makes me happy :)!

_**On My Own**_

_**Chapter 2. An Angelic Time**_

We enter the strip club and head for the administration (if there can even be such a thing in a place like this) counter. We introduce ourselves and Charles politely asks to see miss Salvadore. Of course, the man behind the counter points at a tanned girl on a dancing table.

We thank him and go and sit down at her dance table. I give miss Salvadore a good amount of money and she crouches to take it, then informs me that it's enough to get me a private dance. Me and Charles look at each other and exchange a chuckle. I cannot deny I took no pleasure in that intimacy we shared at that right moment... Such a close bond! Then, she stands up and leads us to one of the... ahum... backrooms. Even though we had foreseen this, it still was awkward, so we exchange a furtive and dubitative look.

As we lay on the bed, closer to each other than we've ever been before (and GOSH! How good it feels! I mean, the proximity and the warmth of his arm lightly touching mine... And I really should stop now just in case he catches my thoughts!), miss Salvadore precises that we didn't give enough money as to get to see a private dance for two. Me and Charles... Two complices... Great! I love this! Charles begins to explain we didn't quite come for that and this is where I think I have at least to talk a bit (as to show I'm in the game!), so I butt in and tell the lady we shall show her OUR trick, before she shows us hers. I smirk, knowing way too well what she's thinking right now; she's a stripper, so...! Though, if Charles and I were together and wanted her to do this just for a new experience in our couple life, I'd sure give her more money! I mean, man, that'd be such an awesome feeling! But I'd better stop thinking about it! He's right next to me! Oh boy...

And there I offer him champagne and he answers: 'Mind if I do?' So, at his quote, I supress a smile and attract the bowl containing a bottle of champagne and pour us some in two glasses. We drink a sip of it then, we hear miss Angel Salvadore say 'my turn!' and she detaches her bra.

I raise an eyebrow and I must admit I am quite... surprised. I wasn't expe— Oh, it's okay. I see marvelous firefly-like wings sprouting from her back and now she's flying some feet above the ground before us. I turn my head and exchange with Charles such a deep and complice glance, it is delicious. Though, I must admit I find it hard to supress the smirk that is threatening the corner of my mouth... If I were capable of doing it, I'd stop time right now just so I could share this bond and glance with Charles as long as I wished to... But work is calling! So, I look back at the damsel while I hear Charles asking her with his beautiful voice : 'How'd you like a job where you can keep your clothes on?'


	3. Chapter 3 Somehow, The Search

_**Author's Notes:**_ Hiya! I'm SO sorry for the long waiting for this chapter... I began University and I got lost in homework and all! BUT I PROMISE if you review a lot and ask me to write the next one faster, I'll do so and you'll have it within a month. Deal? :) Okay!

_**Disclaimer:**_ As my previous ones.

I hope you'll enjoy this one!

Thanks and review, please! ;)

Erik likes that! (Reviews) So...make him smile :D ;)

_**On My Own**_

_**Chapter 3. Somehow, The Search**_

It's been a week me and Charles began looking around the U.S.A (mostly New York city) to find mutants in order to gather them together; Angel is already here, along with Armando Muñoz , Alexander Summers, Raven, Hank McCoy, and Sean Cassidy. These ones are kids, but heck, Charles tells me we need them as much they need us to help them. But still, I just shrug and nod; I don't want to upset him or whatever, so I just focus on his marvelous facial features. I love his piercing blue eyes, his thin lips, and... Have you noticed how he doesn't have thick eyebrows and the way they are curved from the inside? I did, and I think it is just so cute... Oh shit! He is staring at me weirdly. I just hope he hasn't caught my thoughts... No. No, it doesn't seem like it. I nod and follow him out of our Division X temporary quarters.

Charles has found another mutant; he's in some low-class bar. So, we ask Armando to take us there in his cab and wait. I squint, trying to find the bar in question, but then Charles chuckles and points at his head.

''You know... I'm a telepath. I can sense whenever we're close...'

I roll my eyes and mumble a ''Myeah, sure... I had forgotten...'

And with a smile, he keeps on ''searching'' for the man. Yeah, well, I know this wasn't the greatest display of my intelligence, but I was just trying to help somehow... So, without him noticing, I keep on trying my best, brooding at the same time...

Charles notifies me that we've arrived. I put on my friendly face and get out of the car. As we walk towards the bar, I can't help but stare at his ass... He's got such a nice one. It's all round and well-balanced- Goddamnit! I shake my head and quickly walk forward, passing before Charles. He looks a bit puzzled, but I don't give a damn about it as long as he didn't catch what I thought and make use of my greatest charming smile. Okay, fine. He seems fooled... Luckily for me, he swore to never use his powers against someone's will, unless in ''dire'' cases... And it doesn't seem likely to be one of those now. So, I'm safe.

Charles tells me it's the first guy we'll see when we get in, sitting at the bar and smoking... He opens the door and kindly lets me in first. We then both walk towards the man directly in front of us. And he is smoking... (Sometimes, I admire Charles' powers. I wouldn't exchange mine for his... Though, if I had had his, maybe I could have saved my mom...)

I keep on advancing towards the man, swallowing hard at the thought of my mom, trying to get her image out of my mind the best I can. At least, for now...Because this isn't the greatest place to cry, one will admit. One hand on the bar, the other on the guy's chair, I tell him:

''Excuse me, I'm Erik Lehnsherr.''

''Charles-Xavier.'' my friend says.

And there goes the sweet reply, kindly directed at us both...

''Go fuck yourselves.''

I frown and look at my companion, mentally asking him what to do and telling him this guy's totally crazy and obviously NOT polite. Charles gazes at me intensively, sending me a telepathic message about how we are not to argue and let him decide for himself. I stare back, and from this ensues a priceless moment of deep staring between the two of us (how I liked it! It felt so real, so intense... so... _there_! If you know what I mean...).

''Oh, Charles! Come on... He's rude. Let's shake him a bit... We're here to help!'' I send him through my mind.

'' Exactly! And he does not seem to want it, so we are not to linger in here more than unnecessary... Others _need_ our help.'' he sends back, looking totally stern.

I sigh, but I totally don't care about what he's saying; I'm just staring at his lips, and goddamn I wanna kiss him! Then, I pull myself out of it, and with a ''what-the-fuck'' expression on my face as I suddenly realize what Charles had been telling me, I glance one last time at the man who spoke bad to us, and follow Charles out of the building.

We get in the cab, shoot each other a glance (we don't even need to talk; we already know we're going to pay our next mutant a little visit...), then Charles tell Armando to go to the next address. He nods and starts the engine.

Okay, I KNOW a friend doesn't think about such things when looking at his good friend, but I found that... I just... cannot help it. Sad, isn't it? Why, I don't know... But one thing I'm sure of is that even though I'm surrounded by people with abilities, and that Charles-Xavier is what I'd call my greatest and closest friend, I'm still alone and on my own... Somehow.

I still have things to do, people to avenge, and I can only do it by myself... Thus, pushing everyone away, even Charles...Even Charles...

I look at him and smile feebly. He frowns, but smile back (obviously more happily than me...), and I know he just noticed something was wrong. He'll never tell, though, I know it...I'm sure of it.

I don't want to push you away, Charles. You're the only good thing that happened to me in my entire life. But I'll have to.

I hope not now. But I know one day, it'll come that I'll simply have to in order to accomplish what I want.

Fate is keeping it in store for me... For us.

And I just wish it didn't... That I could change it somehow.

I sigh and stare right out the window.


	4. Chapter 4 Sometimes, We Discuss

1**Author's Notes :** Sorry it took so long! Anyways, here is the 4th chapter. :) I hope you like it! I was wondering, would you like one chapter *farther away* to be from Charles' POV? Like...one or two chapters? Would it interest you, or simply confuse you? Because we could finally get to see what he's thinking of it all :P...

**Disclaimer :** See my previous disclaimers!

Enjoy!

And comment please :)!

**On My Own**

**Chapter 4. Sometimes, We Discuss**

''Your turn...''

Charles sighs and softly bites his lips (or so it seems; I don't know because it's not me, but since I see no blood, I deduce that...). He shifts a bit, getting more comfortable (I suppose), and looks dead serious at the afar before starting another one of his usual speeches I just can't live without. Here I am, sitting with my friend on the stairs in front of the Abraham Lincoln's great statue, a chessboard, and a game outstanding between us. We're done with founding Division X and recruiting since yesterday, and now I'm stuck to listen to Charles' view, hopes, and dreams...

''We can help them.''

''Can we?''

I sincerely doubt it. I mean : I would _love_ to believe him (and I know he is genuinely certain that it's possible), but I don't. Due to my past experiences (trust me, I'd exchange everything for a way to change all that happened), I just can't. So, I glance at him quietly, then start telling him that every bad event begins with identification, then rounding up, and it goes on until we cannot do a thing to help nor save them (and ourselves). But when I shoot another glance in his direction, I notice his sad, hurt, defensive, and distant expression, and I just shut it. I couldn't bear his innocent hopes to be destroyed by me, so I say nothing more, and stare away at the distance like him.

After a while, I hear a heavy, yet desperate sigh by my side. Charles doesn't look at me until he's far in his explanations about how this time is different (yeah, yeah) because we have common enemies (of course...) name-dropping that disgustingly vicious of a monster Shaw (those weren't his exact words...more like mine! Haha...). When he finally gazes at me, and adds ''they _need_ us'', I let a few seconds pass before answering anything; I'm a bit too shocked. I sigh softly.

''For now...'' I reply, smirking a little as I turn my head to look at the marvelous, yet so purely naive person.

I really think this is useless. Once we've helped them, they'll all capture us, mutants, then make our life a living hell... Like I experienced it years ago, and sadly, it scarred me forever... It's a disgusting part of me now. A part I never wanted! And no matter how much I'd like to subscribe to Charles' ideals, I just can't stop being sure it will bring us nothing more than sorrow at the very end... Certainly not peace.

Because peace was never an option in my mind. Only vengeance, and protection of myself.

We stare at each other. Deeply. I don't know what he's thinking but by the look in his eyes, if he had an ounce of nastiness and violence in him, he'd be killing me by the second. For my part, past the tension and awkwardness of the moment, I reluctantly, and subtly try to NOT stare lower; Goddamn, that guy's sexy! I know it's wrong to think such things towards a fellow, but heck! I'm already a mutant who's been a lab rat, and seen his mother murdered right in front of him, what could be worse? Surely not my secret infatuation with him... No, but seriously! Look at him! He's acting like a total angel, yet he's sitting all sexily, legs stretched out on the stairs, as if to incite me into doing something ''wrong''. He's so tempting... Am I bad for trying not to succumb to this peculiar, yet so cute man...? Even if it was bad, it's too late... With one last look before picking up the chess game, and getting ready to leave, I finally realize (call me slow on that one...) He's more than a best friend to me... If only I had a chance. I never will, though. I'm not fit for chances... My life's filled with misfortunes. That naive, innocent, and sweet person probably deserves more than my life of disasters... than me... I sigh, pick up the game, and nod to Charles I'm ready to go; he looks so serious I feel a pang of anxiety in my heart... What the heck is he thinking? Is he mad at me? Is it something I've said? Has he seen I still feel like I don't belong anywhere else than on my own? I shake my head, trying to get out of my worrying thoughts, and follow him down the stairs as if there was nothing wrong storming deep within, nor confusing me : back at Division X!


End file.
